Ch 2 — The Breast Reduction Threat

The engineers at Vieregg Industries had never been happier. Their productivity had soared, their sick leave had plummeted, and their morale surveys were practically glowing with the kind of suspicious enthusiasm usually only seen in cults or particularly aggressive multi-level marketing schemes.

Even Vieregg himself, a man constitutionally incapable of recognizing his own luck, was beginning to suspect that he might have done something right.

This suspicion only deepened during his latest visit to his parents, where his father, Carl Vieregg—who possessed all the warmth of an audit notice—sat scrutinizing company reports with the kind of intensity usually reserved for blood test results.

“Son,” Carl said, flipping through the pages. “I have no idea how you managed to so radically transform the company.”

A pause. A long, thoughtful pause. The kind of pause that suggested Carl was struggling with an unfamiliar sensation—praise.

“I honestly thought something was wrong with the numbers,” Carl admitted, his voice edged with the reluctant awe of a scientist realizing that his lab rat had somehow learned to file taxes. “But this is real. Real.” He exhaled sharply. “Son, I am truly sorry I so thoroughly underestimated your leadership skills. The way you managed to turn this company around is nothing short of genius.”

Povel Vieregg, a man who had been waiting for his father’s approval with all the patience of a houseplant waiting for rain, was basking. Basking. He felt like an abandoned puppy finally being acknowledged by its emotionally distant owner.

For years, he had been the family black sheep. A deeply disappointing son, reluctantly made CEO only after his far more promising younger sister, Petra, had made some unsavory life choices—choices so unsavory that they were now classified information.

In the Vieregg household, Petra was a forbidden topic. She had been removed from Christmas cards, family trees, and, quite possibly, reality itself. Vieregg had never dared to question this decision. He had simply nodded along, gone with the program, and accepted the new, Petra-less universe in which he now resided.

Yes, these were good times. Good, golden, father-approved times.

But there was just one tiny problem.

Vieregg knew, with the certainty of a man who had not done the work on a group project but was still receiving the A+, that his success had absolutely nothing to do with his leadership skills.

No. The company’s performance had skyrocketed for one singular, undeniable reason:

He had hired Idun Amalie Wang.

Vieregg’s engineers, a devout and technically competent sect of geekdom, had spent their lives in a world almost entirely devoid of female presence. Their social skills had atrophied like vestigial limbs, their understanding of women mostly based on anime, badly written sci-fi novels, and one particularly misleading summer spent playing Mass Effect.

And then, suddenly, Idun Amalie Wang.

She was, as far as they were concerned, a gift from the Machine God Himself.

Coming to work had taken on a new and glorious purpose. Seeing her walk down the lab, her big ass swaying side to side in a manner that surely violated several natural laws, while her breasts wobbled and bounced in a synchronized ballet of defiance against physics, had given life an entirely new meaning.

The engineers—men who could typically only be lured away from their workstations with the promise of free pizza or a newly released Linux kernel—had found a new reason to be present. Their dedication to their craft intensified, driven by the misguided but deeply held belief that if they excelled at their job, Idun would take particular interest in them.

It was a naïve assumption, but not an entirely irrational one.

These were geeks, and in their world, status was dictated by technical excellence. The man who could optimize an algorithm, build a more efficient power system, or deliver the most elegant lines of code was, by all measures, the alpha male. It only made sense that Idun—who was perfect—would judge them by the same standards.

And so, one by one, they paraded their latest innovations before her, eager to impress.